Bitcoin is only useful to people who don’t want to get caught

Dear John: Always love your columns.

I want you to know that if you have an offshore gambling account, bitcoin is not only accepted, it is required! A.G.

Dear A.G.: Ain’t that swell. Thanks for the insight.

If I’m ever going to bet on Manchester United with a bookie in Hong Kong or launder my drug money out of Mexico City, I guess I’ll have to get myself some bitcoin.

Or maybe I’ll practice a broken English accent and make believe I’m from Nigeria so I can steal money from elderly Americans by pretending their granddaughter is stuck in Venezuela and needs airfare home.

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