‘New Coke’ is back 34 years after fizzing out

If Crystal Pepsi is next on deck, we’re outta here.

To the chagrin of many, it was announced on Tuesday that Coca-Cola is reviving the oldie but baddie, “New Coke,” the onetime buzzed-about soda from the ’80s that fizzled faster than Debbie Gibson’s comeback tour.

Blame the relentless cross-pollination culture and Netflix — Season 3 of the hit supernatural show “Stranger Things” is set in 1985, the year that brought us Mikhail Gorbachev as the new leader of the Soviet Union and the coldest winter on record in the eastern US.

That year’s release of the New Coke flavor was still far bleaker.

But the epic marketing fail that left battle-scarred soft drink survivors muttering, “How can something so bubbly fall so spectacularly flat?” is back to collaborate with the hip show in a promotional campaign.

A limited supply of the beleaguered sweeter soft drink — which was met with such swift public backlash at the time that parent company Coca-Cola returned to the old formula within three months — will be out Thursday, with 500,000 New Coke cans available online and at select vending machines.

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